The Emotional Cost of DIY Relocation: Why Peace of Mind Matters When Moving Abroad

Moving to a new country is exciting. The promise of adventure, new cultures, and fresh perspectives pulls many of us away from our comfort zones and into the unknown. But there’s a challenging reality behind those perfect social media posts of beautiful streets and café visits that isn’t discussed enough: the emotional toll of handling a DIY international relocation.

I’ve always considered myself resourceful and independent. So when I decided to move from Argentina to Portugal last year, despite having Spanish nationality through my grandfather, I was confident I could handle the relocation process myself.

“How complicated could it be?” I thought.

The answer? Far more complicated than I had imagined.

The True Cost Goes Beyond Money

When we talk about relocation costs, we usually focus on the financial aspects—shipping belongings, securing housing, travel expenses. But there’s another currency being spent that doesn’t appear on any spreadsheet: your emotional wellbeing.

As an EU citizen moving to Portugal, I needed to complete four main processes: 

1. Obtaining a certificate of residency
2. Getting a tax ID
3. Registering as a freelancer
4. Securing a social security number 

None of these are particularly complicated on their own, but the information online can often be contradicting and it’s hard to know which sources you can trust.

One especially frustrating thing I learned is that you have to complete these steps in a specific order. Even if it’s possible to get most of them in no particular sequence, doing so can have consequences. For example, getting your certificate of residency before having a long-term place to stay might affect changing the address on your tax ID, which you need to do to register as a freelancer. Basically, making a mistake in one process can impact all the rest.

Each unexpected obstacle chips away at your excitement and replaces it with stress. Every hour you spend dealing with confusing websites or waiting at government offices is time you can’t use to plan your move, settle in, meet people, or enjoy your new country. These hours add up quickly. But worse yet, so does the stress from the uncertainty of whether you’re making all the right decisions or if you’re missing something that will cause issues down the line.

The Emotional Toll of DIY Relocation

Looking back, I underestimated how the accumulation of small frustrations would affect my overall state of mind.

Getting my tax ID was particularly overwhelming. I had to visit the government office three different times. The first time, I went in the afternoon and was told they only processed tax IDs in the morning. The second time, I arrived at 9 AM (opening hour) and was informed they had already run out of slots for the day and that I should come back really early and wait in line.

The third time, I went at 6 AM, waited in the cold for three hours, then spent two more hours inside (fortunately it was warm and there were chairs). After five hours of waiting, I finally got my tax ID – a process that took just a few minutes to complete. 

But the saga wasn’t over…

The next day, I noticed my name was misspelled on the document. I should have checked when I received it, but I was so tired. So I had to go back a fourth time. This final visit was at midday and super fast, but still incredibly frustrating.

I definitely had some blue days because of these challenges. It was especially frustrating feeling like I might be in an irregular situation without a clear solution. I won’t say it ruined my experience – I had an amazing time getting to know the city. But in hindsight, I would have definitely paid for a service to save me that stress.

The Value of Peace of Mind

One realization hit me hard during this process: my time and emotional wellbeing also has a price. And in retrospect, it’s a price I would have gladly paid to avoid the stress and uncertainty.

After working for years and taking on various responsibilities, I now value my free time more – and being able to enjoy it has a price. All the bureaucracy that has no impact on your lifestyle (tax ID, social security, freelance registration, etc.) is worth outsourcing to professionals who know the system inside and out.

There’s no badge of honor for doing it all yourself. What matters is how quickly and smoothly you can settle into your new life knowing that you have the optimal setup for your situation—for that’s when you can really start enjoying the experiences that prompted your move in the first place.

Lessons Learned: What I’d Do Differently

If I could go back and give my past self some advice, it would be simple: 

Don’t be stubborn about doing everything yourself. The money you save by handling your own relocation often isn’t worth the cost to your mental health, time, and overall experience.

I’m still dealing with some aspects of the relocation process, and I moved here 9 months ago. This is not at all the standard duration – if done correctly, everything could be ready in a few weeks. In my case, it took longer because of a mistake I made when I first arrived, the time it took to find a permanent place to live, and because I spent some time in Argentina attending two weddings.

So here’s what I would have done differently:

1. Research relocation services before deciding to DIY. Understanding what professionals can handle for you helps you make an informed decision about what’s worth your time and what isn’t.
   
2. Value peace of mind appropriately. Factor the emotional cost into your decision-making process, not just the financial cost.
   
3. Be honest about your tolerance for bureaucracy. If you find paperwork frustrating in your home country, it will be exponentially more challenging in a foreign language and unfamiliar system.
   

Consider hybrid approaches. You don’t have to outsource everything or nothing. I would still recommend handling your housing search personally—it’s a big decision, and no one knows better than you where you would like to live. But consider getting professional help with all the bureaucracy that has no impact on your lifestyle (tax ID, social security, freelance registration, etc.).

The Bottom Line

When relocating internationally, you’re not just changing your address; you’re rebuilding your entire life. Your energy is better spent adapting to your new environment, building relationships, and embracing the culture – not fighting with bureaucracy.

So if you’re considering a move abroad, remember that your mental health is worth investing in. The emotional cost of DIY relocation is real, and peace of mind during such a major life transition is invaluable.